The financial responsibility of parenting doesn’t always end when children grow up.
A new RBC survey suggests that, for many Canadian families, support continues well into adulthood, with parents helping cover everyday expenses such as groceries, rent and utilities. Nearly one in five parents with children aged 35 to 40 are still providing financial assistance.
The survey found that nearly one-third (32 per cent) of Canadian parents with adult children aged 18 to 40 said their children were not yet financially independent.
More than half (51 per cent) of parents said they had provided financial assistance to an adult child in the past 12 months, giving an average of $6,151.
Lucianna Adragna, RBC’s vice-president of client segments for everyday banking, said the findings show that financial support is lasting longer than many parents might expect.
“One of the interesting things … is that support is lasting a lot longer,” Adragna said.
Everyday expenses are adding up
According to the survey, 56 per cent of parents who provide financial support to their adult children help pay for groceries, while 43 per cent have helped cover an unexpected or emergency expense.
“It’s not about luxuries. It’s actually about supporting everyday essentials,” Adragna said.
Another 24 per cent help with rent, 21 per cent contribute to utilities and 12 per cent help with credit card or debt repayments.
Adragna said parents are responding to the rising cost of living while trying to give their children opportunities they may not have had themselves.
“When you think about just the economy in general, I think we all know, I’m not an economist, but I can tell you, we go to the grocery store, you can see the rising cost of living across the country,” she said.
The survey found that 51 per cent of parents who support their adult children said it was simply what parents do. Another 35 per cent said the cost of living was too high for their children to manage on their own.
Meanwhile, 25 per cent said they wanted to give their children opportunities they did not have growing up, while 15 per cent said their adult children still needed money management skills to become financially independent.
Parents offer different perspectives
For some parents, financial support is about giving their children more time to study and a more comfortable start to adult life.
One father said he continues to help his children with housing, food, entertainment and other expenses, adding that young adults are staying at home longer than they did in previous generations.
“I think things are changing, but for the better, because they have more time to concentrate on their studies,” he said. “It prevents them from having some of the difficulties and challenges maybe we had when we were less privileged.”
Another parent said she continues to financially support her three sons, aged 18, 24 and 26. She said she bought two additional houses so her sons could live separately from her, while she and her husband continued to cover their expenses.
“My husband and I pay for everything, yes, as long as we can afford it,” she said.
She said she does not want to pressure her children to move out before they are ready, but is also trying to teach them responsibility and the value of earning money.
After her sons left university during the COVID-19 pandemic, she began bringing them to work with her to show them how she earns a living. She said they are now on her payroll.
“If that is the only way to teach my children to mature up and be responsible, so be it,” she said.
A third parent said providing financial support was simply part of being a parent.
“Because they’re our kids. And if you can, you do. Simple as that,” the parent said.
Quebec parents report a similar trend
The survey also found that financial support remains common among Quebec parents, although they were less likely than Canadian parents overall to report providing assistance in the past year.
Adragna said 41 per cent of Quebec parents surveyed had provided financial assistance to an adult child in the past 12 months, compared with 51 per cent nationally.
She also said Quebec parents appeared more optimistic about their children’s long-term financial independence. About 80 per cent expected their children to become financially independent eventually, compared with roughly 60 to 70 per cent of parents nationally.
However, Adragna said that nearly one-third of Quebec parents with children aged 18 to 40 said their children were not yet financially independent,
Helping children could put parents’ futures at risk
While financial assistance can help adult children cover immediate needs, it can also create challenges for parents approaching retirement.
Lin Sok, a financial security advisor and mortgage broker, said the issue is not new, but became more pronounced during the COVID-19 pandemic, particularly as parents helped their children enter the housing market.
“A lot of parents are trying to help out their adult children by loaning them a down payment towards buying a home, paying off credit cards, et cetera,” Sok said. “And it directly impacts their own future.”
Sok said parents can overlook the long-term consequences of their decisions when they are focused on helping their children.
In her practice, she works with multiple generations within families and sees how financial support can affect parents’ retirement plans.
“I’m not saying you can’t help your children, but you have to see how that’s going to impact your own finances, your own … retirement in the future,” she said.
One area of concern is help with homeownership. Sok said some parents refinance their own homes to give their children money for a down payment. She said this can create an opportunity for adult children to buy their first home, but parents need to understand the financial consequences before taking on additional debt.
“I’m not saying don’t do it, but you have to do the math,” Sok said.
“Basically you’re essentially taking out a loan on your own property in order to give your children the opportunity to purchase their first home, which is … outstanding unless it impacts your own finances.”
Sok said parents must consider what else they could do with that money, including putting it toward their own financial goals.
She added that housing costs and other expenses are making it increasingly difficult for some young adults to become homeowners without help. During the pandemic, she estimated that close to half of the first-time homebuyer transactions she handled involved down payments funded through an inheritance or money from parents.
Planning ahead can help build independence
Both financial professionals stressed the importance of open conversations about money and setting clear expectations around financial support.
Adragna said parents should first understand their own financial situation before deciding how much they can afford to give.
“Whatever help you do provide, it shouldn’t affect your own goals,” she said.
She encouraged parents to ask their children what they need instead of immediately offering money. Some may need financial advice or help developing a budget rather than direct financial assistance.
She also recommended that families clarify whether financial help is a loan or a gift, discuss repayment expectations and check in regularly.
Adragna also suggested giving adult children responsibility for specific expenses, such as textbooks or a cellphone bill, to help them develop money management skills.
“Making sure they have 100% accountability for at least one of the things within their budget to start to teach them some of those money management skills,” she said.
Sok also encouraged parents to start teaching their children about money early and to be open about their own financial mistakes.
“Start them young. Have open conversations with your kids about money. Talk about your own mishaps with money. Be open about it and say, ‘Listen, if I could go back in time, when I was your age, I would have done X.’ And kids appreciate that. They want to know what the right things to do are and what the wrong things to do are. They actually do want some guidance.”
She also suggested that families consider how remaining funds from a Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP) could help young adults begin saving and investing through accounts such as a Tax-Free Savings Account (TFSA) or First Home Savings Account (FHSA), where appropriate.
“The longer they have these accounts and the longer they contribute, the more the effect of compound interest on their investments grows,” Sok said.
“Literally, that’s the definition of having your money work for you.”
Adragna also encouraged families to use available financial resources and speak with banking advisers about budgeting and managing money. She said regular conversations can help parents and children establish expectations and work toward financial independence together.
A growing challenge for families
Sok said she believes the issue could become more difficult for future generations if families do not plan ahead and set financial boundaries.
“This is a problem that’s only going to get worse,” she said, adding that parents need to recognize when financial support begins to threaten their own retirement security.
For Adragna, the goal is not necessarily to stop helping adult children, but to make sure the support helps them move toward independence without putting parents’ financial futures at risk.
“Supporting your children and planning for your own financial future don’t have to be competing priorities,” Adragna said.
“The key is having open conversations about what support looks like, setting shared expectations and making sure that financial help is also helping young adults build the skills and confidence they need to become independent.”
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